toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
