this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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