just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
