Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
