I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
