New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
