i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize