I CAN MOONWALK!
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
