I haven't been this sober since birth.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
