No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
