god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
