i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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