We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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