I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
