i'm signing you up for texting rehab
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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