She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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