I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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