i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
