hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
babies were throwing up all over the place
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
