dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
there's paper in my vomit.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
