This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Randomize
