You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Randomize
