she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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