real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
