was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
