there was a trapeze. enough said
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
