I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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