I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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