you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
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