Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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