R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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