life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
