im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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