youre lurking in front of me
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
