my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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