woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
