dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
