Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize