just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
