I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
