if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
When did angry sex become our thing?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
