i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
