My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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