Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
