ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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