I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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