I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
