Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Randomize
