need another drink. this is the easiest way
I think im going to throw up on grandma
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
