If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i think i scared a bird with my dick
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
