She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
