I hate your face
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
