So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's blow job season.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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