I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
