my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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