dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
