Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I touched a dick in church today
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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