No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Farmville is her only friend.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
