Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The power of my boobs compel you
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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