i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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