just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
